June 11, 2024
"In knowing nothing, life is most delightful"
- Publilius Syrus
Ignorance is Bliss
This proverb is horribly misunderstood.
We wish to forget, and envy those that do not know, whatever is troubling us. Alternatively, those with little mental ability do appear to be happy. That isn't wrong, per se, which is why it's so often misinterpreted. They simply don't worry.
Thinking in that regard is more of an observation. There are no real conclusions to be drawn other than some short-sighted envy.
A better interpretation is along the lines of:
"Take solace in ignorance"
On Ignorance
People always tell you to face your fears but they never tell you how.
If you're afraid of flying and you get on an airplane- you're terrified for the duration, get off the plane, and hope you never have to fly again.
There are coping mechanisms for avoiding your fears, like thinking of a "happy place", which are effective and useful but only defer the issue.
In addition, physically facing a fear does not necessarily mean overcoming the fear. Of course, the more you do it, the more desensitized you become to it, so it can be an effective way to face your fears.
There is, however, a mental path to facing your fears that doesn't strictly require physical confrontation. This is especially important to know if your fears are not physical by nature, like anxiety.
Meaning
To effectively face your fears, you have to accept, and truly internalize, that the outcome you're afraid of may actually happen and there is nothing you can do about it.
To someone that suffers from anxiety, this is probably one of the scariest sentences you can read.
From there, the next step is to literally take solace in the fact that you have no idea what's going to happen. None.
This is your weapon against anxiety. It's the ability to take a moment to stop ruminating. To take a pause from your emotions and say "You know what? Maybe it will happen."
Only through the acceptance of your fears can you free yourself from the spiral of ruminating on those fears.
"You know nothing, John Snow"
- Game of Thrones
The Real Risk
You can ruminate on your fears and spend your life fearful of what could happen. You can choose to never get on another plane. You can guarantee you will never die in a plane crash.
The Type I error here is dying in a plane crash. Literally one in a million statistically. Near-zero if you don't fly on Boeing planes.
The Type II error is going the rest of your life without traveling overseas. Foregoing vacations. Foregoing visiting family and friends.
It isn't even close.
The cost of Type II errors almost always outweigh the cost of Type I errors.
Type II errors are invisible because they're impossible to track. You can look up how many plane crashes happened in the last year. There is no way to quantify life foregone.
Side note: This concept of Type II errors applies to everything. Look around.
"Qué será, será
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Qué será, será
What will be, will be"
- Doris Day
Applications
Accepting one's fears and internalizing them is no small feat.
The good news is: You can do this for everything. Anxiety, fear of heights, fear of flying, etc.
The bad news is: You have to do this for everything. It takes time. Each thing you want to overcome is its own battle. After that, it still takes time and reinforcement.
It is, however, the only tool we have.
Forgiveness
An equally difficult, seemingly impossible, concept to come to terms with is forgiveness.
The same as any fear, in order to overcome something, we must first accept it. A soured relationship is another mental battle to overcome through acceptance and forgiveness. Forgiveness does not imply you need to then maintain those relationships. It is a tool for you to overcome persistent negative thoughts. It's for you.
How many times have you mentally punished yourself or others for a single mistake? Mistakes should only be paid for once.
No negative self-talk. Avoid negative thoughts. Exercise is the easiest way to get your mind off things. It's easy to allow yourself to slip into a cycle of negative thoughts and bad moods. You'll find, with practice, it's just as easy to ruminate on good thoughts and to find yourself in a wonderful mood.
Don't treat yourself as a victim. You have agency over all of your thoughts and actions.
Exceptions
The main exception, I've found, is the fear of death. Hear me out.
In some of my older friends, I've begun to notice that some of them have lost their spark. The things that made them interesting, passionate people.
I know it's something everyone deals with as they age. Time goes quick. Better to work hard and keep your mind off it, some may argue.
I think when people start considering themselves as old is when they "get old". They accept that they'll never achieve their stupid, childish ambitions that really aren't all that stupid or childish. They're the things that make you, you.
Accepting one's mortality, unless it's something you constantly struggle with, is conflated with giving up on ones dreams. The fear of death is just a tool for you to use to nurture your inner flame. Embrace your ambitions. There is a reason it's called "The Angel of Death" - it's one of the most powerful tools we have to stay mentally strong.
Tell yourself: "I'm going to die. Let's fucking do it."